We have always expressed the inner voice or haven’t. We gracefully miss out the art of listening. When someone wants to speak, someone just wants to be heard, maybe all times or one time or only last time. Be that person, listen to someone today. 🙂
If you are not thinking of me during the mistake you have been making. If your conscience is not shattering your inner self or your shadows not showing your reality ,
If you ONLY feel guilt when you are alone within four dark walls without me by your side and not in your proper consciousness,
If your heart does not slam you each time you are about the repeat the same mistake or your brain shows no warning,
If your fingers do not shiver when you type for me or your eyes don’t choke,
If you feel sorry is just another word meant to be said and it is not the emotion that is tearing through your guts and building your tear blocks ,
If it is not meant to be genuine but like erasing your mistake to create space for better ones.
Then, Do NOT ‘SORRY’ Me 😌
If I’ve come this far, I shall pretty much be able to handle whatever’s next.
I , from this very moment, not any more drop a single weep casting any regret. I don’t no more hover in the streets of nowhere and pitch my best to what’s next. I understand that there isn’t any scope for a human being in my life who roots to unwillingness . I will not pressurize my mind & soul to drown in the intensity of any situation that is a threat to my stability and well being . The same butter that melts on high temperatures also hardens strong enough to break down when all the chills are upon it. No freckle on my body says it’s ashamed of itself & no flaw an imperfection. I will let mistakes teach me but not stop me. My heart that has been in places where it could not get owned & places where it did not want to be owned. My heart and mind however , at the end of the day should not by me , disowned. Not every pain was a necessary display or every smile ,a real one but every intention , gentle and pure. Pride and esteem never wore a costume & how little sweeps have covered every inch of the bathroom. If a flower appears dead to me, I will approach a garden but never get comfortable with the state of not trying. My blood cold towards injustice and water to discontentment. But after every day, I will remind this to myself. My pain letter didn’t have to be the one describing every hurt but it had to show how getting hurt is still easy and overcoming phase is worse. My prayers to anyone and everyone going through anything in their lives. It shall pass. This was my Scarlet Letter, my shade of pain.
Not in the curling lashes,
or in those glamorous glasses.
Not in her heavy jewelry,
or the matte shade of blueberry.
Not in her perfume of heaven,
or the magic that makes you feel her absence.
Not really that shining face,
or her numerous attended dates.
Not everytime as somebody’s muse,
Nothing like her beauty that screamed from her bruise .
I tell you here , there is no denial
I sat on a heavy night as fight in my trials.
Weaving many things together for a conclusion,
The one I couldn’t reach, maybe for a lack of reason.
I heaved a sigh and looked up ,
My eyes fall on the hardbound brown diary sitting on the shelf right on the top.
Opening it again ,I felt was a must
As what it collected was much more than dust.
I went through the pages, that feeling I couldn’t help,
as the pages rolled, the fight within felt closer to myself.
I read, I understood and embraced my motive that had started to fade,
Emotions and pain, for which I had the diary made.
One more thing yet again I discovered,
I already knew where I stood in everyone’s life,
I knew it better. 😌
Use your expensive shower gel that has been in the corner but is avoided every day due to the ‘quick shower , running late ‘ routine .
That favourite restaurant of yours? that you haven’t visited with your beloved due to hectic schedule , is desperate to see your face.
Your adventure backpack and sport shoes have become best friends talking about how much they need to go out.
The gram flour and lemon have almost resisted themselves from any curry to be the part of your crazy D.I.Y’s.
Your house is giving you every signal with the cobwebs and dust wanting you to understand it also needs some attention.
Your phone is tired of being held,
That laptop heated with workload,
And your mind flowing with stress .
But you don’t exactly need a vacation, you just need a break.
Don’t be afraid to take it.
Do share with me, what you do.
I’m not the prefect daughter,
I made a lot of mistakes that sometimes hurt the temperament of my parents.
I’m not the prefect sister,
I busted some of my brother’s secrets to my parents when I was small & ate his cake too.
I’m not the perfect friend,
I maintained distance according to my moods and did what I wanted to.
I’m not the prefect lover,
I have some of my days wrapped in insecurities and questions for nothing.
I am that spilled and scattered mess that still chose to drive through this, I may not be your idea of perfection but then who is anyway ?
Hardest thing ain’t no metal,
Nor I imagine a plated medal.
Hardest thing is not what you can’t push away,
But, I believe it’s when you have nothing to say.
Hardest thing is not a chest stroked with a sword ,
But when you feel so much pain, and can’t put it in words.
#Just a midnight thing.
We’ve all had our share of days where nothing feels right, nothing goes right. These black dates are one of those kind of dates that drags us, our self esteem and happiness down.
As an artist, your whole life shall be devoted in finding the right inspiration or the right word but you just wouldn’t. I could just scroll through my drafts to a number of unfinished work waiting to be published but all I want to put up shall probably be something I haven’t written before. But in one of these days, I just wouldn’t get the motivation.
My words convert into blank spaces and the heavy jamming clogs my thoughts.Maybe I need the motivation everyone keeps looking for and maybe it’s too away from me. I guess we all stay unmotivated at times.
I guess it’s okay. Is it?
I would love to know if anyone else feels the same too. 🙂
To everyone who didn’t know,
A girl whom you meet with the brightest smile has woken up with heavy dreams that pull her down, she jumps on the puddle of rain water to mask the mud getting fuller in her, her aura looks like a million bucks but she counts her worth in pennies , her hate so prominent but that love inside sees no conditions , her mascara rolls on her lashes and dries on her cheeks ,night by night, every night. She might be right next you but you don’t know her.
To every lady reading this, don’t consider ‘know your worth underrated’
To every man reading this, any woman in your life is a blessing, look deep within and beyond all her imperfections.
Also, we are so close to 1K in such a less time. Once it’s done, as requested by a many of you, I shall do a post regarding myself and if there is anything you want to know about them let me know, shall put it in the next post.
Sweet dreams all.
Stains that peep through sheer feelings,
Stains that pull me & are compelling.
Stains that I bragged from all extra baggage,
Stains in the dark that made all the damage.
Stains that hovered through every passing age,
Stains that were set free & had no cage.
Some stains from yesterday ,
They prick and hurt .
They’re meant to stay ,
To make me firm & keep me alert.